Look your a man unless your not, and that cool. And if your not, what brings you here beautiful. Oh, if this is my editor reading this, this is Ralph. Anyway where was I oh, right we are men but some of us don't know how to drink like it. So let's work on that together but not really because your the one with the problem here not me.
Light beer is for the ladies.
Do you know what goes good with a light beer ? Tofu and side salad with low fat dressing or maybe a piece of boneless skinless grilled chicken. Perhaps you can carry your light beer in your bag right between your tea cup Yorkie, lip gloss, and tampons. There is no reason you should ever drink a light beer. A wise old bar owner told me once "You can always tell the biggest douche bags in the room by the blue mountains and silver labels." "But, Tom regular beer makes me feel to full. " Then drink water dumb shit that's pretty much what your doing anyways it's only tinted yellow. You want a light beer that bad. Give me about thirty minutes after my regular beer and you can drink from the urinal.
No flavored crap.
I don't like the taste of liquor. Oh, then why do you drink dick ? Whiskey is the best tasting stuff on the planet. It's has complex flavors and leaves you feeling awesome. So why would you want to taint that experience ? I'm a drinker I enjoy liquor real liquor. I don't drink cheap and I don't drink flavored. I have tried almost every flavored thing that comes out because I work at a place where it comes in handy to know what's out there and how good it is. I've tried these items, I don't buy them, or drink more than a shot. Drinking flavored liquor is like going to a fancy restaurant getting a perfectly seasoned aged steak and then covering it in ketchup. You just shouldn't do it. Again this is chick liquor most women don't like hard drinks so to make them buy more booze they came out with flavors.
Own something aged and drink it neat.
There is a rule at my house. If you want to drink my top shelf spirits. You will drink them neat or not at all. I have a nice collection of premium spirits (I don't drink cheap). One of my favorites is Jameson Special Reserve 12 year aged Irish Whiskey. I have a bottle of every Jameson available here in the states. And your welcome to try any of them in a rocks glass with nothing mixed in it. If you want a mixed drink you can use the 8yr regular Jameson. What's the point of using top shelf liquor if your going to mask it with sweet and sour or the most uncultured mixer ever coke. I have no problem with you drinking something and soda but your getting the stuff from the well. If you are a drinker go out and get one good bottle of something aged to drink on special occasions. Share it with your friends with a couple of good cigars.
Please drink like a man why would you pay the 4 or 5 dollars or more depending where you are for half a beer. That's what your doing when you drink light beer. Order and water and yellow food coloring. Unless your girlfriend wants to go shot for shot leave that bottle of cherry SoCo at the store. Finally if your drinking a fine aged single malt scotch and your friend asks if he can have some with a little coke in it. Hit him very very hard in the face and find a new friend.